i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
