i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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