Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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