I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
