i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
