Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
someone owes me an orgasm
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
