The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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