So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I need a hoe opinion
go on
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
