I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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