This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
