How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize