thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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