it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
