I just gift wrapped bread.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize