Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
