Nicole vs. Life
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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