I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Drunk is not a location!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
