In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
