you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
