either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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