okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
