Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
