In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize