Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
