i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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