I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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