i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize