You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
