Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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