I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
