Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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