I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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