i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
