bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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