Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I know her cup size but not her name....
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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