Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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