he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
