i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
my liver is dry heaving
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
