Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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