Even the bartender felt bad for me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
