okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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