Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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