11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
