i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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