im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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