Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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