You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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