If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
