Jerry, you need to find god
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
