I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
cat food counts as protein by the way
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
