What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
