the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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